lost

I decided to take a picture of a pictureframe because this is one of my favorites ever. I received this entire package as a gift from my aunt, and have had it for several years. It shows my dog, Cody, and I after we just got done running our 2 mile ordeal. It means so much to me because he was a phenomenal dog, and was my best friend. We got him in the third grade and taught him everything I could. speak, roll over, stop, get home, stay, ride alongside me on bike without tipping me over, not attacking my pet rabbit, saving me from vicious raccoons,.. EVERYTHING! One of my biggest dreams was to have him with me in my senior pictures. I had to all planned out. Turns out Cody died my Junior year on Valentines Day. I knew he was sick but my parents wouldn't take him; claimiing he was just getting old. I hated looking at him in the eyes a few months before he died. It wasn't because I could see his pain, but because he seemed disappointed in himself. It's like he knew he was leaving me and couldn't look at me long enough. I hated knowing htis and would wake up in the middle of the night just to go outside and pet him. he was the first love of my life, and I would give anything to have him back. I hate myself for not working and saving money so I could take him to the vet myself. I hate knowing he died alone on valentines day. I hate knowing he suffered for months from an unknown reason. To make matters worse, he died 2 days after my sister in law passed away in a car accident. I don't htink I have even been so lost my entire life. Life is brutal. It takes away things you need in life, and to this day it's not the same when I drive down my driveway. Not this big fluffy dog wagging its tail to greet me.